Prayer of Oneness

by mandy lipka

“Love is how it feels to recognize our essential unity. Awakening to oneness is the experience of Big Love. Knowing you are one with all, you find yourself in love with all.”  –  Timothy Freke

Recently, a friend and I discussed the inconsistencies of a HuffPo article on why women aren’t married over a couple of beers. I respect the woman’s experience, but her wisdom didn’t follow with her three divorces. Instead, she helped perpetuate negative feelings toward single women, calling them shallow, slutty, lying, selfish, not-good-enough bitches (*gasp*). The more my friend read the article aloud, the more we’d cringe. What was she thinking?!

Deep in her soul, I know she meant to say that women who are not married, haven’t taken the time to marry themselves. Herself included. What I mean is, they haven’t yet found their fullness– or pūrṇa in Sanskrit. The past two years have taught me a very dear lesson in my singledom– that when I realize my fullness, my relationships will last more than 8 months (all retro-dating aside).

Think of it this way: if we don’t fully appreciate who we are, how would we be able to share ourselves with someone else? If we don’t love ourselves, how do we expect someone else to completely love us? I think what happens is we spend too much time trying to fill that void with material things or boy toys, instead of taking the time to fill it with our own positive thinking, lifestyle changes and improved health. Since I started really taking the time to do this, I’ve seen progress. People start picking up on your glow. It becomes magnetic and infectious. Others recognize when someone is *full* of who they are in every moment (not the be confused with being full of themselves). There is a fine line, but it is one worth finding.

In one of my Anusara classes, the yogi asked us to focus on our pūrṇa and invited us to fully express ourselves in poses that would encourage this fullness. It was one of the best classes I’d ever been to. My inner light was shining, and I could see my best friend connecting, too. Such a beautiful moment. We ended the session fittingly with Nada Shakti’s Prayer of Oneness. I invite you to close your eyes, focus your breathe and really listen to the chant below.

It’s interesting that pūrṇa almost sounds like “porna” because I often consider female sexuality a stellar source of fullness. But again, there is a fine line between sexual empowerment and porn. It’s important to for women to know and discuss the difference between a vulva and a vagina (One HuffPo article loses, another wins). It’s also important for women to be as comfortable with the power of their bodies as much as men. But I’d have to say it’s most important to find that fullness for ourselves before sharing it with other men, women or the world. I often preach in marketing that targeting your audience makes your message more effective. The same goes here, targeting your fullness (to yourself to start) will only help increase your fullness, so be selective.

After all, even Sex and the City helped push this message in the show’s season finale when Carrie proclaims,

But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.

For me, it’s mind-melting moments like the one described above– in yoga, during meditation, while writing, at home alone with a glass of wine, that help me work toward greater fullness. The personal journey I’ve started to create this fullness increases my faith that there’s a man out there who will appreciate the work and the product. And I expect and wish the same fabulousness for you.

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